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tv   Red Eye  FOX News  March 17, 2011 3:00am-4:00am EDT

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>> glenn: i know i scared you today with the wolves and the pigs and the old man sweater. tomorrow i'm going to introduce you to dr. mcphee. check out the spooky door and a conversation i had at home welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show, old sport? >> mgm changes the bad guys in the remake of "red dawn" from the chinese to the north korean. we find out why they didn't make it the tea party. and the libyan government routes opposition forces and the american government say, please stop that if you don't mind. and finally, have scientists found a wi to send matter back in time? a story so important we are doing it in our lightning
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round at the end of the show. >> thank you, andy. >> your face is a merry go round of failure. >> i apologize for nothing. >> let's welcome our guest. she eats nothing but lady bugs. i am here with jill done son. -- dobson. she is so cute that babies carry pictures of her in their wallets. and he is condescending in eight lapping wedges. -- in eight languages. and no gender will have him. it is my repulsive sidekick, bill shultz. and like the great wall, you can see his lips from space. his latest cd is delightful. and he is losing shies -- losing his shirt. good to see you, pinch. >> courtney and kim take new york. days of our lives. the electric company. according to my leisure section, these are all things you can watch at 12:00 noon
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tomorrow rather than listening to the noxious bile coming out of your "red eye" host as they guest host" the john gibson show." oh, also, leprechaun 3 on the sci-fi network will be available. greg? >> that was a nice plug. >> not really. i was plugging other shows to watch in uh voi dense of you. >> in a back way you plugged our show. >> i don't have a hand or a back. so you remember "red dawn." it was that 80s flick about american kids arming themselves against the soviet invasion. if you can't recall, let me refresh your memory. >> what a classic. i have seen it 13 times and
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mainly because i am a huge fan and i am very lonely. that's another story for another time. the film has since been remade with the producers replacing the russian bad guys with the chinese. but now according to the l.a. times, china has become such a big market for hollywood, mgm studios have decided to replace the chinese with north koreans. yet, film makers actually digitally erased the chinese flags and symbols and replaced dialogue so now north korea are the invaders. #w* that country there is nothing to be gained financially. it is as lieu craw testify as a kathy griffin porn site. color me unsurprised. hollywood may be where dreams are made, but it is also where wimps are cultivated. look who they chose seven years after 9/11. the chinese. how is that for coward december. -- cowardess. they hand you radical islam and you choose a country that makes your tennis shoes?
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the paper says it illustrates how much sway china has in the global entertainment industry. an mgm spokesman says no one spoke to the chinese government. i guess they gave in without a fight which makes you wonder how quickly they would fold when faced with a real threat. the kids from the original "red dawn" would be disgusted. i look forward to their remake of the china syndrome. i hear their new title is "tibet sucks." if you disagree with me, you sir are worse than hitler. >> good to see you again. glad to see you mugged travis. >> i get a lot of compliments on this one. >> usually from the cabdrivers. do you blame mgm for woosing out? would you see the all mighty dollar and say, i need to make money? let's switch it? >> can you insult the chinese and the asian people anymore? basically all asians look alike.
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chinese, korean. it is like my grandfather calling them all orientals. if i want to see chinese taking over our country i will wait for the documentary in five years. >> that's a sober commentary on the economic collapse of america. >> yeah, why did you think i wouldn't be able to do something like that. >> dana, if you were the producer, i would ask you the same question. you look especially dapper. >> as do you. >> i wear this sweater to tell america it is okay to hug me. >> i feel like i am in a gay sandwich right now. >> no one knows what that means, dana. >> answer the question. >> i think that it is interesting that you can't cook up a really good men nis for america. we are a country that wants an exsew essential men nis. we miss our mennace and the chinese don't pass the test. china doesn't have a mass culture and their big idea is now capitalism which is our
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idea. if anything, greg, it is the other way around. >> wow. interesting. >> i know you can talk. shouldn't they just play it safe and instead of the chinese or north korean just pick like big foot or red headed people? >> yeah, and i heard the new movie "mars needs moms" and when it comes out it will be an outer space and that way you don't offend mothers or fathers and hollywood is known to do this. why pander to the chinese? we have a huge problem with them pirating our movies. they are watching them, but -- >> that's not a problem. that pirating has something going for us. that's how we are winning. >> exactly. and it is insulting to them to think they would be insulted by a fictional movie. they were on the website because the chinese were in it. they didn't think it was insulting. bill, you were up for the leah
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thompson role in the remake. what happened? >> i hope they will digitally put me in. this is movie magic. they can changing castings. i don't know why they want to remake the movie. it is cursed. look at the original cast. afterwards, patrick swayze had an untimely death, rip. c thomas howl, his career died. charlie sheen, career died. jennifer gray's old nose, dead. >> actually that is not true. jennifer gray is doing fine and the nose is in an off broadway play. it is unbelievable story. look, my big story before we move on is you got the biggest threat you know right now which is radical islam and they didn't choose it them. >> they didn't want to get bombed. >> radical islam is not a threat like the way soviet union was. >> i think it is a worse threat because we understood
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no matter how scary the soviet union was, they they weren't going to cross the line with a few things. with radical islam, they will blow things up. >> they don't have hydrogen bombs and neutron bombs. >> it is a threat. it is something we have to live with. >> two things, you can't have al-qaeda invade america in a mass army-type situation. they are not disorganized. that's what they do. and the "red dawn" title wouldn't make sense. >> the other thing too is with al-qaeda and with china -- with the chinese -- >> you got your china over here and the north koreans doing the north korean thing. >> are you imported in your suit. >> you know, dana, he picked up a lot of you guys after midnight.
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he knows how to handle you. >> he took me to the strangest movie. >> we are getting silly, so let's move to the next topic. from pictures to post men. well, they are outdated and now better compensated and yet postal workers are getting raises. in one of the largest labor unions they reached a deal on a new four and a half year contract that would give bumps in pay, bill. the increase of 3.5% is over the life of the con trabt. -- contract. it prohibits layoffs of career employees and allows the caning of newer ones. the postal service which employs about 600,000 workers expects to lose roughly $7 billion because of declining mail volume and also a really bad super bowl bet. if only green bay covered the spread. for now we go to stubborn rabbit. what can you tell us about this agreement?
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>> kind of adorable, just like you. if your mail stopped, would you notice? >> well, i would be thrilled because all i get is bills in the mail. i am bitter because i spent an hour in line at the dmv after spending more than 20 minutes in line at the post office. if you think my license has been renewed, you are wrong. but i did need a book of stamps, i am bitter and i still have an expired license and down with bure beurocracy. >> bill in the mail was the same nickname. different word structure. >> don't you love how the older members of the union can sacrifice the newer ones. >> when i was little 3450eu --
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my mom would break off and rub ointment into his swollen joibts. >> did you live in the 1800's? what are we talking about? >> how is that jodie foster thing coming along? i'm glad to see your hair grew back, paul. >> i have to ask you, i love my post man. but if they are losing billions, do they need raises? >> i would like to answer your question the way mine are answered at the pofs office. this window is choosed, buddy. >> this is absurd on any level. who gets a raise for doing less work? they have the easiest job now. >> that was a pony express joke. >> i thought you meant in general it would be good to have orphans. >> bill, you are the one who is really suffering.
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>> yes, absolutely. i'm glad to see we are giving this to an antiquated system that nobody uses rather than the teachers. what do the teachers do? unlike most people i do not believe children are our future. >> i would like to keep receiving now. so i would like to see my local post mail carrier, wonderful person. and i would love to get the holiday cards. >> i live in an apartment building. he puts it in everything but 9b. >> now you will never get it in 9b. >> as a kid, the whole idea of a post man was quaint. it was part of your life showing up in shorts. you loved him because he delivered the tv guide. you got the tv guide on friday and it was the greatest thing. i'm 46. >> were you living in a basement chained to a furnace? >> when you are at the height
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of empire all of your architects are strong and real, like the neighborhood post man. at the end they are falling apart and the post man is somebody who is screwing over the other post men to keep a pension and the movie has their fake names. >> and they have to pay now 24% of their healthcare premium which means we pay the rest, right? it is a guest thing. >> and they get bitten by a lot of dogs. so there are stitches involved there. >> it will take two and a half years to get in the mail. >> you are never getting mail again. >> i love my mail man or mail woman. >> from delivering a package to grabbing one i speak of a college student named aaron toby who filed a quarter of a million dollar civil rights lawsuit for being wrongfully detained foregoing through security. he opted out of an advanced
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image x ray where he stripped down revealing the fourth amendment written on his gorgeously hairless chest. it wrote, amendment 4, the right of the people to be secure against unrbl searches and seizures should not be violated. despite being handcuffed, aaron made his flight in route to his grandma's funeral. it explains the punk's attorney, quote, he went there knowing he would not do the advanced imaging and do the pat-down instied. he he was making it easier, and yet wanted to communicate his objection. to me it is like a dog trying to pop a balloon.
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>> i think we beat all of the networks on that footage. >> who would leave a at the present time in the backyard? worst vacation ever. >> something is going on in that household that i would rather not know. concentrate on the adorable dog and not the crazy family. does this lawsuit have merit in your beautiful, blue sparkling eyes? >> gorgeous eyes. >> i feel the lawsuit only has merit if he is right which doesn't matter. it is quaint he thinks it is being honored at this . and so probably not. >> somebody saw glen beck today. you were just speaking freely. that's part of the constitution. >> if he wasn't so ripped, no
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one would be sympathetic. no one would care. am i right? >> i care. i think it is important to have your first amendment rights and you can't speak freely when you go through the airport or state major opinions on your chest. it was valid he is on his way to grandma's funeral. you didn't need to fly with this. you have to get to grandma. >> i'm not -- aim the only one here not offended by the pat-down procedure? i don't want to be in a million pieces in the air. it is two more minutes of my life. they found they succeeded in cheating the world's largest pile of relations. >> you can say anything you weren't. but that statement doesn't
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hold. i'm sorry. >> bomb-sniffing dogs around luggage. >> this is the same animal that gets faked out when you do that. does that statement hold. >> good day, sir. >> am i going to have to separate you two or take you on a long strip? >> couldn't he have typed a nice, double-spaced letter? >> i love the fact they asked him repeatedly if he had ties to terrorist organizations. they should have said yes, alphabeta gamma. what happened to the college students who were trying to get through the airport. >> by the way if you are just arriving law gar de yaw cold you. >> it is weird you didn't get
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it on the way to the funeral. it seems like the wrong thing to do. if he was on the plane with me, i would hope that they would stop him. if a guy has writing all over his he is insane. >> what do you think of the statement of logical integrity that if a man has writing all over his body, he is insane. >> it is funny because i have the third and 6th eement written on my chest. >> it is more like smeared. >> oh my epi-lady. looks like a failed attempt at waxing. the accused should have a chance. >> that was beautiful. we must move on. children as young as three years old are taking up cliff
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dreefg. but is it safe? jill done son says who cares, i hate kids? i first, is this the future of time traflg? i will ask my assistant who just returned. that's you, greg.
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are they losing the fight because we won't stop the flight? muammar qaddafi gave them two choices. surrender or flea. the "new york times" has given him -- they say there is no point for a no-fly zone over libya. officials say getting ships and planes into place would take until april, far too
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late. while the administration supposedly is considering air strikes an official says, don't count on it. hillary clinton said, we understand the urgency of this. we are looking for ways to help the opposition. take your time, hillary. isn't that right, brave penguin. >> bad news is he is now hooked on heroin. you just got back from egypt. what happened to the inspirational wave of freedom. we are looking at libya and it seems to be gone. >> i think it is still there. america ends and the entire post war era talking about the inevitability of democracy. it started to happen in an inconvenient way.
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joe biden says they like to torture, rob and ab doubt them. -- abduct them. you don't get more bad than muammar qaddafi. these freedom fighters are there and getting crushed. i can understand we don't have boots on the ground. but you have to stand up. you cannot claim exceptionalism and then in your conduct be exceptional. >> obama ago -- accepts it. >> it is actually the most clear. why are we obligated to step in around the world? >> do your own -- >> google how to kick out a dictator. google it. >> he has a point. the air rag league is calling for a no-fly zone. why report they doing it.
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caw qaddafi has all these oil monies and it is russia and the u.s. and neither are particularly excited to do. it it was forgotten after the uk's trading of the lockerbie bomber. but bush rehabilitated qaddafi in exchange for a news cycle. >> i will tell you though if we were selling fake democracies, we are engaged in two of those. >> but we are not. if you look at per empire it began in europe because people were starving. it began in the east because we needed to knock japan out of the war. america screws up. basically what you are saying is you will not be ebbs -- exceptional.
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and dillon, quote, when you are hired of yoorz and all of your creations, that applies to america. we don't believe we can do it -- >> we can't we have no revolution left in us. >> i love this country. >> i have to say, all i want out of this, jill, is to have qaddafi killed. i don't care about anything else simply because of the lockerbie thing. we can't do anything to him because we say it is urgent and then undecided it makes me sad. >> it is sad. i would love to rush in there and stop the problem. we may get in there and get stuck. we haven't shown we can just be the hero. >> what if we have to solve the problem? >> do they know they want democracy? i don't think they do. to add to andy's comment last night, how do we know these
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rebels are not the same guys that were cheering the lockerbie bomber when it came off the plane. i say let them deal with it. we can spare a drone. >> does it get worse than muammar qaddafi. >> egypt worked out fine. >> that's the thick. we move caw qaddafi and then we find out, we do get worse. >> it is an unknown and you just have to find out. have you have a generation. they are interested in the 1989. if you read it, all resolutions are about poverty. the thing that started on wall street standard and livings and they are pushing them from the poverty to the misery line. >> what did it is guys think?
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>> they have a lingo that can go back and say, that's america's greatest legacy. >> i was at the luxor in vegas. >> have i to go. -- i have to go. i like it. do you have a comment on the show is. that was a spirited debate. feels really good inside. e-mail us red eye at fox news .com. call 212-462-faff 050. still to come, the half time report. >> tonight is sponsored by pig racing. the sport where young pigs race along a small or gravel track. thanks pig racing.
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welcome back. let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. for that we go to andy levy. what's the story? >> before i get to the stories, you said, quote, like the great wall of china, you can see his lips from space." actually unlike space you can see his lips. >> at least we know something is true. >> were you aware march 16th was lip usa appreciate day? >> i did not know that. >> i am not making this up. it was started by a company called wellcat, a i can maker
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of herbal products. they claim responsibility for it and use it as a proa promotion. >> i will ruin you later. >> i hope you took the day off. or maybe treated yourself to something nice. >> why don't you become a lip model? >> i could. >> you are right. you could. >> i never made andy laugh before. >> i was laughing at what greg said. and we should have said paul mccurio will be playing the role of jesse joyce on this show. greg-alogue, and cloarly this remake is not going to be as realistic as the original. greg you say you have seen it 15 times because are you a big fan. >> yes. >> howl has a part in the upcoming "spiter man" as a
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character named ray cop cooper. >> he has n do the cob show where he plays a cop. you know the one. he wears the cop uniform. >> "southland." >> yeah, too serious for me. i like fun, funny cop shows. police squad. i did a little digging about the quick thing. he was a respective police detective and carly cooper. for more go to my bloke. i am a huge dark, hang on. here is my question about this whole thing. is it such a big deal, how come nobody thought of it before they made the movie? >> with mgm? >> yeah. >> i think the process by which culture is made in this country that there are so many pieces that nobody realizes what direction they are moving in until a later point. i'm not sure i buy that.
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it sounded good. >> i get points for execution. >> that was like making an omelette without legs. greg, you said it would be insulting to say they will be insulted. studios face testimony halts after china afterers years of seven years in tibet. this has happened before. >> i stand corrected. >> if you are going to waste a lot of cash upsetting china, let's do something watchable. >> that is very true. i loved red shoes. >> is it okay to say the urge "red dawn" not that good. >> agree with you. >> disagree. that's a classic. kids, watch the original. >> see where he touches his dad's hand. >> i want to point out there has never been a bad movie by powers booth. >> i do love me some powers
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booth. >> powers booth is the most under rated actor on the planet. he can talk for days without moving his mouth. paul you said of being between greg and dana, quote, i feel like i am in a gay sandwich, but the sand sandwich is named after what it is between. >> make of that what you will. the postal service expects to lose about $ef is billion because of declining mail volume. if only green bay had covered the spread. >> he is only $6 billion in debt. >> yeah. >> whatever makes postal workers happy is a good thing. >> sure. how about the customer is always right? >> yes. the customers don't tend to be
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the ones that go postal. that is an unfair comment and they call it going postal. >> you look postal. you look like a going to a ball, a post man's ball. >> it is the grimace for oppose meant. >> why are you blaming the post man for the fact that you don't get any male. -- any mail. >> i was laughing so hard split blew across the table. i will move on. jill, was that you that said that when he was on the screen. >> that lady like, mmm, that was jill. >> i will jill has a much lower base. and you refer to the lawyer as the punk's attorney. continue it be great if it was phil? >> that would be nice. but it what's president.
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-- wasn't so it is a waste of a question. punk -- funk -- punxsutawney phil stands good. >> you don't go through with it. it is all smeared in your chest. >> the upside is he ruined a perfectly good shirt. >> it is dana's fault because he brought it up. >> your original plan was to write it on your shirt and not show it? >> no, i wrote it down and then on the car ride it smeared my shirt. >> you need to go -- you need to say carrottop. he can talk you into it. >> my wife says, this is something carrottop would do. >> you like carrot bottom? >> why do i wake up in the
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morning. dana you said bush rehabilitated for a good news cycle. that and turning over wmb's. >> does he have them in. >> yes. that is the point. he shut down some embryo nuclear program? >> he turned over some stuff. you have to bring it to the heart of the matter. >> it is a fair point, but the facts re-- remain. >> you forgot to ask who day ma is looking at. >> there he is. >> do you want me to put my chess rip stick. regardless of what happens, we are the bad guys. if we go in we are the i'm peer rail list and -- imperialist. and they will get their own message and there is more consider and status involved in empire.
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>> you are okay with that? >> america is a force for good and the 20th century is make that argument every yes,ve. the people in the middle east accuse us of trying to colonial lies it and do all of that stuff. when they don't come in they say, where is america. >> the people who voted in the arab zone. >> the air arab street want to know. >> if somebody questions them i will be questioning them. libya is a clear case for a hue man tear yuan mission -- humanitarian. i would like to have the others step up for once. >> i agree. and where is egypt in all of this?
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how about saudi arabia. >> but the saudis have a democracy spread. >> i agree. >> so we have and bad friends. >> apparently i have to go. >> i have a message on my lower back if you want to to see it. >> it is more like a tramp stamp. can i make this one last point before we move on? we spent the last two years telling us how people hate us so much. this is born out of that. we have to stop caring what other countries think. if we look like bad guys, who cares. this is after eight years taver they said he was a jerk for it. he did what i was supposed to be doing. if he can't get his soul glow, that's a step. >> that's a good point. we have to go. move away from the screen. coming up, what is it like to
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eat a rare panda in one sitting? jill tells us about the trip to the zoo. >> we are so not going boating this weekend.
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some are calling it the greatest theory of all time. i am descended from a magical unicorn, but also that time travel is possible. fiz cysts from vanderbilt proposed using the large collider in switzerland. first they would use the collider to create a hypothetical particle. they believed the particle could jump out of the normal four dimensions of space and time and into a theorize -- theorized dimension. it would make me an awesome
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burrito because that's what i would make it do. let's discuss this in our -- >> lightning rooound. lightning round. >> dana, scientists say it could be used to send messages to the past or future. what kind of message would you like to receive when you were younger? >> i would like to -- there is some women in my life who were wonderful and i screwed things up. i would want to take back all of the words that hurt them and they would stay. >> very cher-like. >> much of your clothing comes from the past. so wouldn't it be fun to hang out with them when they were cool once? >> i have a message for you, here it is. you have a right to a speedy trial. >> it looks like you have a rash. >> that's what he said.
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i read this story and tried to listen to you and the people who came up with this are so dull and they get to go back in time first. i want to go back and -- to cleopatra. >> i love how when you go back in time it will be easier for you to get access. >> i'm sorry, you are a slave. >> why because i'm italian? that's racist. >> yes, of course it is. everybody will go back in time and then they will be partying with thomas jefferson. >> they want to be a part of a different social class. they think if they go back to the ikdz 1600's they will be the bell of the ball. totally score with marilyn monroe. >> jill, pat, would you rather go to the past or the future?
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>> i would split the difference and go back to the future. >> bill, if you could send a message to your future self right before you overdose, what would it be? don't do the eight ball all in one. >> you accidentally get some good crap. your dealer miss recognized you, and that is potent stuff. >> we couldn't get to the second or third story and maybe be will do that in the next segment. we will take a break: up next, something fun for you and for me.
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so in china, a red tibetan massive, is that how you say it? >> mastiff. >> okay and frankly i don't care. anyway, this tibetan puppy has been sold for over $1.5 million, making it the world's most expensive dog. apparently in recent years the
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rare breed has become a status symbol of china's wealthiest residents. dana, how many of these dogs do you have, and what do you do with them? >> i would never be allowed to have a dog because i am not responsible enough. i was pro huh business. >> they thought you would strangle it or something? >> yeah, they had very dark experiences and i will adopt it as fiction in my next novel. >> jill, wouldn't the expectations be high for the poor dog? he must have terrible anxiety. unless the dog has a thriving law practice there is no way he is worth it. >> so true. does it bother you the dog lives a better life than you? you have to admit he has a better coat. >> look you are so proud of yourself.
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>> look, this is a chinese coal baron paid $1.5 million for this dog. the most expensive lunch ever. >> bill, $1.5 million. that can buy a lot of paintings. >> that will not last as long as art. but if you let it sit there for awhile it hillary seem bell art. >> you noy what is interesting about this story? the fact that a dog can be worth $1.5 million and have no knowledge that it is any different than a homeless dog. one of your greatest lines is a homeless dog didn't know he had one. >> you know what i would like to do with the dog? i would like to shave it poodle style and um -- and jump it into one of -- [bleep]
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>> i hate that dog. >> you can't say things like that. be will close things out with -- we will close things out with a post game wrap up. there is me. i am looking pretty hot there, if i must say.
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another reminder, bill, andy and i will be hosting "the john gibson show." check us out. or you can listen on your computer at radio . fox news .com. again that is thursday at noon of the be sure and call in. we will take a lot of callers, all three of us. call, call, call. coming up tomorrow, andrea chris rowser. back to tv's andy levy for the post game. >> paul, what upcoming dates
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do you have in. >> april 6th to the 10th i will be at the funny bone in des moines, iowa. and my jacket the last time i was on, this jack wet got a lot of grief. now everyone is commenting on how great it is or how it sucks. this jacket has feelings. i have been inside it. i enjoy i had it. and we should auction it off and we can auction it off char charity. >> we will sign it and figure out what you want and we can get that going next week. >> stupid idea. >> daw gnaw, another night for the unraveling of a story whose awful terminous has backfired. >> escaping into one another and telling stories to distract from the dark and nearing howlings. >> dana, once my uncle gave an old belt to plea with as a -- to play with as


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